To start the process of healing is a HUGE step. It takes guts. To change is to say that you will turn from the way you've been doing things.
And if you've been doing things a certain way for a long time...well the change is even more significant!
I recently read some posts about being a survivor of sexual assault. Many do not know I too am a survivor of sexual assault. It's weird to say. It happened so long ago. I don't think about it every day like I used to. Through many months of therapy, tons of tears, medication, and other things I have been able to switch from a victim to a survivor. That switch is monumental.
People think, "How can a lady ever forgive the person who assaulted her?". Well, it's either forgiving or letting the hate and anger consume your life. It also helps they are not a part of your life (well, for me that is true).
But as I read this chapter on "We heal ourselves" I found much of this process to be true in different areas of my life.
As we begin to forgive, we begin the process of seeing true that hate blinds us to (words by Smedes himself).
He says this:
For the truth about those who hurt us is that they are weak, needy, and fallible human beings. They were people before they hurt us and they are people after they hurt us. They were needy and weak before they hurt us and they are weak and needy after they hurt us. They needed our help, our support, and our comfort before they did us wrong; and they still need it.
Yep. True.
He goes on:
Of course, we cannot pry the wrongdoer loose from the wrong; we can only release the person within our memory of the wrong.
He says that when God talks about separating our sin from us like he separates the East from the West or that it is literally cleaned away from us, so too does He FORGIVE our sins. God's attitude towards us change. So should we not also change our attitude towards those who have wronged us?
So, how can you tell when forgiveness happens?
When you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well. (Exact words of Smedes).
WHOA! Yet so true!!!!
And this is just the beginning...
Next chapter: We Come Together.
